After The Fact

It went well, I understood. 
What follows, who knows?
Who follows, what is known?
I did my part and there is emptiness, a yawning gap
in experience
How will the results play out?
Who will play, who's out?

On stage, in the spotlight, I get to raise my voice
I am heard
I am seen
I am perceived
That is not my purpose, however.

Rather, what is worth your while?
How will we make good use of the time?
("The client does the work, the client does the work")
My ministry resides in involvement
I facilitate your engagement 
with the material.
My approach is relational  -
it's not enough to listen and watch.
That's why you must speak
to this partner, then to another partner
Again and again.

I am no one's answer
I come bearing resources
and ways of thinking, processing
We will always run out of time
I'm not interested in sales.
What did you learn?
Where are your thoughts taking you?

To facilitate necessitates letting go
The process belongs to participants
Outcomes result from honest engagement
(I am not the race whisperer)
Opening space means folks can fall
fall in, fall through, fall out
They can also stride in, spread out
stretch their thinking, claim their position.

That's why after the fact feels hard
having let go and not knowing
where seeds can perhaps take root.
Detachment and non-expectation become 
tangible practices in need of rehearsal.
Planting, growing and harvesting are 
each their own thing,
require their own seasons.

After the fact is before the next
Non-closure at the end that is only a meager
beginning
an tiny opening to a slightly larger
unknown.
Making peace, an act of reluctant patience.
After the fact I am a full blown uneasiness
A swirling escalation of nosiness.
As usual I am a work in progress.

At some point
after the fact 
I will roll to a stop and rest.


One thought on “After The Fact

Leave a Reply to Antonia Malchik Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s